No, I don’t think I will

What is there to say about now?

I’ve considered a few entries and ultimately I’m like Captain America. I could speak but “no, I don’t think I will.” I won’t say anything foolish. I won’t go into details. I won’t say anything I don’t have to.

But I am in flux. Greater flux than ever. My background is in one thing. And that’s gone. It’s not at all possible for me. That world is gone. And that’s okay. It happens.

What I know is this. I’m capable of so much. I’m autistic. I’ve made it to 36. I made it through college. I made it through high school even! (Ok that’s a stretch to care since I loved high school.) I am a father. I am a husband. I am Austin Shinn.

I will say I’ve tried to strike a balance. Self care has been key. A ton of Superman comics. Big Nate too. But I’ve fought. 10 applications a day. 3 interviews. And that’s in 10 days. More are scheduled.

What I know is this. This blog is meant as a resource for autistic people and allistic people. To not address what’s going on is to lie. I need to be honest and say my life is in conflict. But it won’t be. Because I have the tools to make it so. I am strong. This is a blip. I am the success story I believe in.

I could have a meltdown. I could break. I could give up. But no, I don’t think I will.