My headspace: An Experimental Post

This is a test of something I wanted to play with. A more experimental post where I convey what it is to be autistic without going into the standard prose. What I wanted to do was put you in my shoes precisely and there’s no better way to do that than to use a mix of screenwriting and images. So I’m going to give it a shot on a vital subject: my relaxation exercise my therapist used. I’m going to guide you through what it feels like.


BLACK

The sound of breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
This is not relaxing.

CUT TO:

INT NEWSROOM – NIGHT
A quiet but messy place. 28532_566208048102_4742476_n

NARRATOR (V.O.)
It’s where you work. It’s nice. It’s a fun job. It’s the opposite of relaxing.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
A beautiful baby crawls around.

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NARRATOR (V.O.)
Cute, playful, love of your life. But also stressful. Maybe not the first thing to think of.

CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
You lie in bed, completely at peace.

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NARRATOR (V.O.)
Ah, this is the end result. But we can’t jump the queue. So focus on that breathing and we’ll get there.

BLACK

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Picture a soothing sight.

CUT TO:
EXT. OVERLOOK – MORNING
A beautiful, spacious mountain view.

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NARRATOR (V.O.)
This is a good start. But really think about it. When you picture this scene, are you truly at peace? I don’t think so. You’re thinking about the stimuli. You don’t want that. It’s nice but it’s not you.

CUT TO:
INT. MOVIE THEATER – NIGHT
A typical movie theater.

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NARRATOR (V.O.)
This is more like it. But still… Movies aren’t where you really relax. They’re often where you fire up. You don’t want to fire up. You want to let go. Where do you let go?

CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL – DAY
A standard motel.

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NARRATOR (V.O.)
Here we go. This is the place to set your image of calm. But wait, why here? Why not–

CUT TO:
INT. MAGNOLIA HOTEL – DAY
A nice hotel.

19652409

NARRATOR (V.O.)
We have no budget limit. But still, that’s distracting. Also the lobby. Do you relax in a hotel lobby? Choose a standard room in a standard hotel.

CUT TO:
INT. STANDARD ROOM – NIGHT
A standard room in a standard hotel. The least noteworthy room possible.

the-magnolia-hotel-dallas

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Here we go. Bog standard. Nothing of note at all. It’s day in that shot but it’s likely day when you’re doing this so deal. Picture the room. Picture the basic details of it. The way the stiff carpet feels on your feet. The chemical scent of the cleaning products that smells just right. The perfect temperature control. The lack of detail. Just you and your thoughts. But not the bad ones. The peaceful ones. You’re away from your stressors. The outside world is outside. You aren’t in it today. You’re away. Sink into the bed. Relax.

BLACK

The sound of breathing.

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