Diary of an Autistic Father: Week 16

  Lola has now been in my life for more or less 4 months. She’s become a real fixture in my life. The new normal has been the new normal long enough to not be new. Yay. 

It’s been a peaceful week too. She’s just been eating and sleeping and playing. She hasn’t been sick. She’s been a bit fussy but she’s a baby. Fussy is her way. She sleeps through the night at least. 

It’s been so peaceful I’ve moved my anxiety to work which has been on the biggest upswing in a number of years. I’m doing a new section and loving it. There’s a ritual to that section that I find peaceful. I’m always checking off boxes. I can get that. 

Things are so good in my life I’m looking at moving on from therapy. That’s a major step. But it’s one I think I’m ready to do. 

The reason I’m ready is simple. I’m making major improvements in my handling of anxiety. And Lola helps that. Lola makes it impossible to feel truly worried about the future. Everything is scary sure. But cub is going to be there. I have to devote all I have to that one endgame: get her to adulthood. 

That’s the beauty of fatherhood. It removes all of your extraneous priorities. Lola is my answer to everything. She’s a good answer. 

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