Diary of an Autistic Father: Week Eight

Lola is a fairly good baby all things considered. She’s not all that fussy. She’s fairly easy to get. She loves bath time. She doesn’t cry through the night. 

That doesn’t mean things come easy though. This week, it’s time to look at the adventure that is the late night feeding. 

Lola is a bottle baby so I share duties of feeding her with Amanda. This means that late at night, I have to care for Lola. I feed her. I change her. I get her back to sleep. It’s not exciting or rare, just standard dad duties. 

It’s an experience for me though. For one thing it gives me a new routine. I know at a certain time I’ve got to be up. I change her–future entry maybe–and I make her a bottle. Then I rock her back to sleep. That involves being so still I’m in danger of sleep. Hopefully after that she’s back in her bed. It can take hours though.

It’s the new routine that matters. I never did anything like this 3 months ago. I do it daily now. And no, it’s not better than 6 uninterrupted hours of sleep. I’ve only had one or two true classic lucid dreams and one of them was a nightmare. 

But I have added it. It’s part of the job. And a new addition to routine becomes routine. It’s how it goes. A change soon becomes familiar. Despite our image, we can and do adapt. 

And it’s fun. It gives me a chance to really study her. She eats well so it’s fun to see that small face consume. Her expressions are gold. Then watching her fight sleep is precious. She’s a baby angel really.

New routines are tricky. She justifies them. 

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