Diary of an Autistic Father: Week Two

The second week brings the most beloved thing for any person on the spectrum: sweet, blissful order. Once more I am able to be on some kind of schedule as I’ve returned to my job. Just the familiar routine of going in and running through the motions of my job, which I deeply love, helps me return to a homeostatic state. 

Then there’s the matter of sleep. I got some! I’m still not at 100% but welcome to the job. I’m much more rested now. I’m not as delirious as I was. Only really been angry once. 

I have been keeping to some routines. I’ve read as many comics as I can. I’ve spent a lot of time at the library. I write incessantly. These are habits that ground me. 

Lola is slowly waking up more. She still mostly sleeps and will for several months. She’s looking more person like as she gets fatter. The kid eats well, makes lots of baby noises when she is up. 

She’s had an eventful week for sure. Lola went to dinner for the first time at Olive Garden and Cheddar’s. (She slept) She also went to work on Monday to see our coworkers where she was well received. Most importantly, Lola went to Conway to see my extended family.

That trip was for Father’s Day, which raises the question of do I feel like a father yet? No, not really if I’m honest. I mean, I’m certainly growing in that area but it’s still too early to say I feel like one. Most of my interactions are feeding and lulling the baby back to sleep. She’s a distant thing yet to me. 

But this will change with time. She’s just so very new yet. 

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