At Year’s End

2014 nearly killed me. That year tested me like I’d never been tested. There was no way 2015 could do worse. It just wasn’t possible. It tried but ultimately I beat it by fighting back. 

2015 was the productive year if it had any theme. This was the year I finished my memoir or at least a draft for others to edit. Unworthy, my great white whale, exists in three drafts. It’s even pretty good I think. The Film Room stepped up to weekly production. We’ve got a column relaunching and I’m on top of that. Arkansas Cinema History started this year and grows daily. 

Then of course there’s the cub. 2016 belongs to my cub. I’ll cover them next year. 

This was a year of chaos albeit less upsetting than last year. Nobody died in 2015 thankfully.  Still there was a move. There were tons of weather events. Emergencies happened all the same. 

I also had a rather intense battle with anxiety and depression. Less a new battle than the eternal one facing a wall. I finally took the initiative and entered therapy. I’m optimistic. I won’t lose this war. 

There has been flux in my social life as some have come and gone. I mourn their absence. Still others have arrived and others remain present. I cherish them. I wish for a measure of stability but I don’t dream of the impossible. 

My marriage only strengthened. I know I have a true partner. I love her. I cannot wait for the next phase of our lives. 

Ultimately this year will be remembered for what I left in it. I left signs I was here. I made a dent. I reemerged as a writer. I was here. 

  

Why I’m at War With Anxiety

I’ve debated extensively if I should write this entry.¬†Admitting what I’m going to admit in this entry is definitely oversharing and carries with it a stigma. Maybe I should hold my tongue and avoid discussing it to look better.

It’s not who I am though. I believe in being honest and truthful no matter what. You’re not reading my blog because you think I’m a model of mental health. This is a blog about my struggle with autism. I have a duty to you, the reader, to admit the facts of my life.

Continue reading

Why “Inspirational” Stories Don’t Inspire The Disabled

Every year, they hit without fail. You can count on them every prom season, every homecoming game, every holiday. At every one of these moments, there will be some story about a disabled person being invited to the dance or even better crowned queen of the event. They’re stories that touch us because the disabled person is celebrated despite their disability. The stories catch fire around the internet and touch us all deeply because wow, how sweet of these abled people to treat the disabled person like a normal person. These stories all have one thing in common.

They give the disabled community online rage nosebleeds.

Continue reading