Riding Out the Storms

There’s a genre of online game I’m quite fond of. In these games, you fire a projectile out, trying to hit the right speed and angle. As the projectile lands, various items can cause it to bounce or jump up and go even farther. It’s a simple genre of game but extremely enjoyable.

That’s been the last few weeks.

It started with an ice storm on February 15th. Living in a bowl as I have been for the last year, it’s almost impossible to get out.. Amanda stayed put though I was able to escape to work. That night, the ice refroze into a slick runway. Getting home might’ve entailed prayer. The next day, Amanda and I made a nearly lethal attempt to get out. Not fun. The next day we did escape. Not an experience I wanted to repeat. We would even stay in a hotel to dodge an ice storm later that week.

On 2/22, we dodged nothing. We were hit with a powerhouse ice and snow storm that blasted us lightly but enough to require a hotel. Amanda and I took up residence at the Holiday Inn Presidential Hotel a few blocks from our workplace. The next day, we got bombarded with a day long powerhouse snow/ice storm that once again kept us in the hotel. I was able to get home the next day but surely our troubles were over.

So then the next week we got a true worldbeater. Several inches of snow and ice! And it started while I was en route to get to Amanda. Took several days for LR to recover. The streets were incredibly slick and wet. We wound up crashing in our new house outside which I fell and hurt my back.

Oh yeah, we started moving loosely on March 2nd and intensely the next week. Everything we own must be out of our old house into our new by 4/1. I spent all day Tuesday moving with my dad, getting the vast majority of my furniture out. A dense sofa/recliner, two beds, an actual recliner, a coffee table, a chest of drawers, a dining room table. None of which helped my back.

Oh and I was sick the same day. Terribly sick. Flulike even.

I could keep going.  My point is clear: to be me is not to know peace. I have several books I’m dying to read. Can’t find five minutes to read them.  I have DVDs piling up. Haven’t been to the theater in 2 months, though it was for Paddington and that mattered to me. I’m exhausted.

So, how on Earth do I get through it? :laughs: Hell if I know.

Oh this isn’t an entry on coping techniques. I’m the last person on Earth to give that advice. I collapse easily. If I can I run like a coward. This is a profound problem I suffer from and I’m NOT proud. Seriously, I have no credibility here.

But he’s the problem: there are plenty of crises I don’t get to avoid. All of the ones listed above? Unavoidable. I have to face them. You can’t dodge an ice storm and we HAD to move. HFA doesn’t stop life. I have made the risky choice to live an adult life and so I have to live it. I just hate how hard it is.

So what do I do? Well, to be blunt I just fight on anyway. During the ice storms I did everything I could to live on some kind of routine. I’m hauling everything over I can. I’m facing all of these head on.

I do my very best to find moments where I can indulge. They’re brief usually but I force them in. I’ve kept up with my comics of course. I’ve caught tv here and there. I did read the new Calvin and Hobbes retrospective which may lead to the next entry.  The occasional meal out is nice.

Most importantly, of course I lean into Amanda during all of this. She is as always there for me through the turbulence. She is a calming influence on me when I would happily explode. I can’t stress enough the good that winds up doing for my soul.

And yes, I have had breaks. Of course I have. There have been meltdowns as there will be. Less actually than I’ve expected. But I’ve definitely had a trigger moment or two. And I just deal with those. My meltdowns are their own bumps in the road.

It will end ultimately. This I tell myself continually. It will have to end. In time all will be quiet and good. But it will take time.

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