On My Father

There comes a point in everybody’s life that they see just how much they resemble their parents. We all know on some level how true that is, mind you. It’s impossible not to see that. But there’s always a specific detail, something so unique shared between parent and child, that clicks in.

I’ve never operated under any delusion I’m not in so many ways my father’s son. True I don’t share his love of sports but there are so many traits that we share. He’s undiagnosed but almost beyond any doubt an HFA case. From him I get my temperament, which can be calm until I’m pushed and turn stormy. So much of how I act, so much of how I talk comes up the line from him.

I am extremely close to him. We talk every day, often more. I admit I vent to him quite a bit still. He’s my dad after all. I have a number of memories from met childhood I will cherish forever of us just traveling. I’ve been tempted to fill this blog with a lot of those stories but I can’t explain the magic of them.

In fact I can’t really say all I need to say here because it doesn’t translate. The glory of our bond with people is that it doesn’t translate well. I could describe a trip to Hot Springs I doubt even he remembers but you wouldn’t get it. Just as I could say I took a girl flea marketing on our first date and most would assume the date was a dud. (Short version: she’s my wife now. 🙂 ) The memories we carry of our bonds are ethereal.

I’m close to the man. Always have been and see no change ahead. I am absolutely my father’s son.

I’ve never doubted these things but it truly hit me today. My father spent his day looking at rock outcrops, much as he always does for fun. He’s a professional geologist but he studies this material with a passion. I’m much like him in that way. I’m in a magical zone sitting in front of a microfilm machine looking at old newspapers. But I’m also a newspaper page designer by trade. In fact my own work lies within the very reels I grew up reading now. We both found a way to leverage our interest into careers.

If I’m like him in that way, then I hope it speaks well of me as a person overall. I hope I’m like him in other ways. I hope I’m proving to be the man he is. In time I hope I’m the father he is. I don’t always see the best in myself but seeing that spark gives me hope.

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